I had a dream that Thomas was alive and I was trying to tell him that I liked him. I think it a happy dream because I really felt all those feelings you get when you like someone new. The awkwardness of trying to communicate your feelings. The risk you’re taking by telling them you want more than friendship. And of course the feeling of joy because your best friend is actually alive.
But then I woke up and I saw where I really was and I saw his funeral program on my nightstand and I remembered how it’s been over a year since I even got to see him not laying in a hospital bed trying to fight his way out of a coma.
Feeling pretty down right now. I miss him a lot a lot. It’s weird that I’m getting older but in my mind he will always be 21 year old Thomas Nelson with the high top fade and cartoon graphic tees and the brackets on his teeth. And the only man who ever really loved me.
